We have all heard of “Trophy Wife”. The meaning is applied to an older guy who marries, (for the second, third, fourth,,etc. time) a younger, usually strikingly attractive woman. This is to show that he has the ability to procure one of these women who would not usually be looking for an older man. This may be the “Prom Queen” who married the captain of the football team because they just looked “Soooo CUTE !” together. This doesn’t always work out to everyone’s advantage. Looking cute doesn’t make a fantastic career choice. Although it seems to have worked well for Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchey because they have combined looking cute with totally slutty. And that can still be an option for some Prom Queens.

The perfect type of “Trophy Wife” would be too young for Botox or liposuction. Blonde is always a good choice of hair color but even a better choice for I.Q.. She went to college for a degree in marketing because she thought that meant shopping. She was a cheerleader and that was what got her the straight “A’s” that she mentions. She could be a “Stepford Wife” but she never read the book and didn’t understand the movie. She says she is fluent in French because she knows all the words to “Voulez vous couche’ avec moi? C’est soi.”

Why is it we refuse to give the title “Trophy Husband” to those women who deserve it?

We will use the term “Boy Toy” for a man who is younger and possibly prettier when he is with a woman of a “certain age”. (What that age is, I have never been able to nail down.) Have you ever seen someone that you may remember from years past accompanied by a guy who gives the impression of not having to worry about the balance on his credit cards. A sort of Donald Trump-ish kinda guy? He may not even be younger or prettier but there is something about him that let’s you know he is definitely secure.

That may be a “Trophy Husband”……!

The guys get the female who brings a lot of young pheromones to the game. The idea is to make other men his age jealous of his choice of bedmate. They may turn to their wives, “Of a certain age” and ask them selves; “I could get a younger arm ornament if I wanted to.” Truth is, not unless they could come up with a higher bid. Some women can purchase an arm ornament, if they want to. When we do it though, it’s not to create jealousy from other women. It is strictly for ourselves. Keeping in mind, even the young can grow old and start acting differently. I have to admit that I wonder if Demi Moore makes Ashton Kutcher sit at the children’s table.

When women get a “Trophy Husband”, it is not always the cash component that comes into play. She may have accomplished her goals and has a nice income. No money worries anymore and she doesn’t have to keep up with anybody. Her ideas may lean her in a direction that has nothing to do with money.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to have someone who can discuss other subjects than baseball, football, hockey and beer? Someone who actually READS the paper? The ability to use words with more than two syllables would also be nice. A man who can order food that isn’t pizza or steak and who isn’t looking for Ripple on the wine list?

Imagine a man who could watch a movie and follow the plot without waiting for the scene where she takes off her shirt.

Imagine a man who really does look at you and say things like; “I think you look great in that dress. You should wear your hair like that more often because it makes your eyes look even more beautiful.” Imagine a man who doesn’t have to hark back to his ‘glory days’ as a high school jock because that is the last memorable thing he ever did.

Now that------would be a “Trophy Husband”.

What? Oh…..yeah. I DO have one ! Sort of.

~ © Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)


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